LGT FLYING SID HAS TCASII ALERT. CTLR 'SUGGESTS' HDG CHANGE. TCASII TARGET DISAPPEARS; THEN REAPPEARS WITH INSTRUCTIONS 'MONITOR VERT SPD.'

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FROM SJC-DFW FLT WE HAD A NEAR MISS. THERE WERE SEVERAL FACTORS WHICH ATTRIBUTED TO THIS NEAR MISS AND IT DEFINITELY WAS PREVENTABLE. THE CREW WAS FLYING A COMPLEX DEP CALLED THE LOUPE 8. AFTER DEPARTING RWY 30 AT THE 1.8 DME FIX; A R 180 DEG TURN IS REQUIRED FOR NOISE ABATEMENT. ONCE ON THE HDG WE ARE PERMITTED ACCORDING TO PROC TO CLEAN UP THE ACFT WHILE MEETING MANY ALT XING RESTRICTIONS. AFTER THE ACFT WAS IN A CLEAN CONFIGN WITH AN AVERAGE RATE OF CLB OF 2500 FPM; ATC ISSUED IN A VERY MONOTONE VOICE TFC 10-11 O'CLOCK 4500 FT EBOUND. WE RPTED BACK NEGATIVE CONTACT AND PROCEEDED WITH OUR COCKPIT DUTIES OF MAKING SURE WE MEET XING RESTRICTIONS. THE FREQ WAS QUIET 121.3. THE NEXT THING WE NOTICE ON THE TCASII A RED TARGET APPROX 5 NM AWAY; THE TARGET SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED. ATC THEN ISSUED A 'SUGGESTED' HDG OF 090 WITH A SLIGHT INFLECTION IN HIS VOICE. AT THAT TIME; THE TARGET REAPPEARED LESS THAN 1 NM AWAY 'DIAMOND 00;' WHICH MEANS AT OUR ALT. THE TCASII INSTRUCTING 'MONITOR VERT SPD' THE IVSI WAS TOTALLY RED WITH NO GREEN BAND LIKE IT IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE WITH THAT INSTRUCTION; THEN THE TCASII SAID CLR OF CONFLICT. I FELT THE ATC CTLR SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FORCEFUL WITH HIS INSTRUCTIONS AND THIS SITUATION WOULD HAVE NEVER OCCURRED.