HDG TRACK DEV IN A NON ADHERENCE TO ATC CLRNC.

Narrative

OUR FRUSTRATION LEVEL WAS HIGH AS WE ENTERED THE CHICAGO AREA. A COMBINATION OF ACARS CLRNC DELIVERY OUTAGE; AIR FORCE ONE'S ARR; AND A GROSSLY MISAPPLIED SEVERE WX AVOIDANCE PROGRAM RESULTED IN THE VIRTUAL COLLAPSE OF THE ATC SYS AT OUR DEP ARPT; EWR. IN ADDITION; FAR MORE THAN OUR FAIR SHARE OF THE DELAY SEEMED TO ACCRUE TO US; AND WE FELT UNFAIRLY PENALIZED FOR NO REASON. FOR EXAMPLE MY COMPANY'S NEXT EWR-ORD FLT HAD A DEP TIME 1 HR 20 MINS LATER; BUT TOOK OFF ONLY 20 MINS LATER AND WAS NOT RE- RTED; ARRIVING 9 MINS AHEAD OF US! SO WE WERE ON A 20 MI DOWNWIND LEG TO RWY 4R ANTICIPATING A BASE TURN MOMENTARILY. THE LAST ACFT WE COULD SEE WAS JUST PASSING ABEAM WHEN THE CTLR SAID; 'TURN R HDG 220.' THE FO READ BACK '220;' BUT THOUGHT THE CTLR MUST HAVE MEANT 320 SINCE WE HAD BEEN HDG 220 FOR A LONG TIME AND 320 WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD BASE LEG TO FOLLOW THE GUY ABEAM ON FINAL. WITH THE FO UNABLE TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE TO VERIFY; AND NOT WANTING TO LOSE MY PLACE AFTER MORE THAN 3 HRS OF ATC DELAY ALREADY; I TURNED TO 320. AS WE ROLLED OUT WE NOTICED A LARGE ACFT AT 12 O'CLOCK ROLLING OUT OF A L TURN OPPOSITE DIRECTION. AFTER SOME DISCUSSION WE DECIDED HE MUST BE GOING TO THE PARALLEL RWY 4L. AS WE CLOSED TO LESS THAN 10 MI HEAD-ON; THE CTLR SUDDENLY GAVE US AN IMMEDIATE DSCNT AND R TURN TO AVOID HIM. AT ABOUT THE SAME TIME OUR TCASII SOUNDED A TA. WE REACHED THE NEW ALT AT ABOUT 3 MI HORIZ SEPARATION; FAST ENOUGH TO AVOID AN RA (FROM TCASII). WE THEN TRIED TO APOLOGIZE.