PVT PLT OF AN SMA SEL TOOK OFF ON AN IFR FLT PLAN FROM AN UNCTLED ARPT PRIOR TO ATC RELEASE.

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I WILL BE 50 THIS COMING AUGUST. I AM A PVT PLT WITH 288.1 TOTAL HRS OF WHICH 16.8 HRS HAVE BEEN IN IMC WITH APPROX 65 HRS LOGGED UNDER AN IFR FLT PLAN. I RECEIVED MY IFR RATING THIS PAST APRIL. I HAVE NEVER VIOLATED ANY FAA RULES. IN FACT ON THE GND I HAVEN'T RECEIVED A MOVING TFC VIOLATION SINCE I WAS 21. THIS PAST JUN/SAT/95 I INADVERTENTLY VIOLATED A FAR. MY EXPLANATION OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE BY WAY OF SUPPLYING AN OVERVIEW OF THE SIT AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED AS AN EXCUSE. IT WAS APPROX XA30 AM. I DROVE MY WIFE AND 7 YR OLD SON TO THE WATERBURY-OXFORD ARPT (OXC) WHERE MY FLYING CLUB KEEPS ITS ARCHER. WE WERE BOUND FOR NIAGARA FALLS. I HAD FILED MY IFR PLAN AND RECEIVED MY CLRNC WHILE ON THE RAMP. MY WIFE WAS FULL OF QUESTIONS SINCE THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME WE WERE TAKING OFF UNDER AN IFR PLAN FROM A NON-TOWERED FIELD. I KEPT REPEATING THE MANTRA TO HER: 'YOU FILE; YOU GET CLRNC; YOU GET RELEASED.' IT WAS A WARM MORNING AND OXC; AND THE RCO FREQ; WAS UNUSUALLY BUSY. WHILE WAITING TO TKOF MY SON WAS COMPLAINING OF HOW HOT IT WAS. I KEPT ASKING MY WIFE TO DEAL WITH THE SIT. THERE WAS A C172 AHEAD OF ME THAT WAS TAKING FOREVER TO TAKE THE ACTIVE. I WAS MONITORING THE CTAF FOR ANY INCOMING TFC. THERE WAS NONE. THE WX WAS VMC. BEHIND ME WAS ANOTHER SINGLE FOLLOWED BY A CORPORATE JET. THE CESSNA AHEAD OF ME FINALLY TOOK OFF. WITH A SIGH OF RELIEF I TOOK THE ACTIVE AND ANNOUNCED MY INTENTIONS OVER THE CTAF. ONCE THE CESSNA WAS SAFELY OUT OF THE FIELD; I ANNOUNCED THAT I WAS ROLLING ON RWY 36; DEPARTING THE PATTERN TO THE L ON A 180 DEG HDG AND CLBING TO 3000 FT (AS ATC HAD INSTRUCTED ME). I USUALLY FLY IFR OUT OF TETERBORO OR FARMINGDALE BOTH OF WHICH HAVE TWRS THAT GIVE YOU THE RELEASE. SO IT WAS WITHOUT THINKING THAT I FELL INTO MY USUAL PROC OF SWITCHING TO ATC ONCE CLRED BY THE TWR (IN THIS CASE -- ONCE I WAS HDG IN THE PRESCRIBED DIRECTION AND CLBING OUT OF PATTERN ALT). ONCE I WAS ON A 180 DEG AND WITHIN RADAR ALT (AND OUT OF PATTERN HT) I SWITCHED OVER TO ATC AND RPTED THAT 'WAS CLBING THROUGH 1700 FT FOR 3000 FT ON A 180 DEG HDG OUT OF OXFORD.' UP UNTIL THAT POINT I HAD NO IDEA OF MY OMISSION. THE CTLR ASKED IF I HAD RECEIVED A RELEASE. BEADS OF PERSPIRATION APPEARED ON MY FOREHEAD AND I GOT THAT SINKING FEELING IN MY STOMACH. I HAD OVERLOOKED PART OF THE 3 STAGE PROCESS I HAD TAUGHT MY WIFE NOT MORE THAN 30 MINS BEFORE. 'NEGATIVE;' WAS MY REPLY. THE DIALOGUE THAT FOLLOWED GAVE ME VECTORS TO FOLLOW TOWARD BRIDGEPORT VOR. I THANKED THE CTLR FOR HIS HELP AS HE HANDED ME OFF. THE REST OF THE FLT WAS UNEVENTFUL. IT WASN'T UNTIL I LANDED AT IAG THAT THE TWR INFORMED ME TO CALL. I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS ABOUT. I CALLED THE NUMBER ON MY CELLULAR PHONE RIGHT FROM THE PLANE AS MY WIFE AND SON WERE UNLOADING OUR BAGS. THE SUPVR I SPOKE WITH; INFORMED ME I HAD FAILED TO GET A RELEASE FROM OXC AND HAD COME CLOSE TO A G2. HE ASKED FOR MY NAME AND ADDRESS. I DID SO AND ASKED HIM WHAT WAS TO BECOME OF THIS SINCE I HAD NEVER FACED A REPRIMAND BEFORE. HE DIDN'T KNOW. I'VE LEARNED A LOT IN THE LAST FEW DAYS. THE IDEA OF NEVER DEPARTING A NON- TOWERED FIELD WITHOUT A RELEASE IS NOW PERPETUALLY INGRAINED IN MY BRAIN. IT'S BEEN SUGGESTED TO ME I SHOULD NOT HAVE LINED UP FOR TKOF; BUT RATHER PULLED OFF AND WAITED FOR A RELEASE. THE FACT THAT I HAD TFC AHEAD AND BEHIND ME CONTRIBUTED TO MY HASTE IN DEPARTING; NOT TO MENTION THE HEAT AND A 7 YR OLD IN THE BACK SEAT. I'M MAKING THIS RPT IN THE HOPE THAT THIS ERROR WILL NOT LEAVE A NEGATIVE MARK ON MY RECORD. I PRIDE MYSELF ON BEING A CONSCIENTIOUS AND RESPONSIBLE PLT AND I'M FULLY AWARE OF THE POTENTIAL SERIOUSNESS OF MY OVERSIGHT. CALLBACK CONVERSATION WITH RPTR REVEALED THE FOLLOWING INFO: RPTR STATED THAT THE FAA HAD RESOLVED THIS MATTER WITH A WARNING TYPE LETTER TO BE RETAINED IN THE AIRMEN'S FILE FOR 2 YRS SINCE IT WAS VMC AND THE RPTR WAS A LOW EXPERIENCED INST PLT. HE HAS SINCE FILED AND WAITED FOR DEP RELEASE ON SUBSEQUENT IFR FLT PLANS WITH NO DIFFICULTIES. HE STATED THAT HE LEARNED THIS LESSON WELL!