LATE HOLDING CLRNC FROM ATC; FLC SLOW IN INSERTING FMS AND HAD DIFFICULTY INSERTING THE HOLDING PATTERN; THEN OVERSHOT THE HOLDING FIX TURN POINT. CTLR HAD TO TURN THEM AND STOP THE DSCNT TO KEEP SEPARATION WITH ANOTHER ACFT.

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N OF PXT 35000 FT ON ARR TO EWR; NAV ON FMS; CTR GAVE CLRNC TO DSND TO 22000 FT (FL220) AND HOLD AT 20 DME N OF PXT ON THE ARR (WITH 10 MI LEGS). BEGAN DSCNT BY PROGRAM INTO FMS. FMS SLOW TO RESPOND; WENT TO FLT CTL PANEL AND COMMANDED 1000 FPM DOWN ON CTL WHEEL. ATTEMPTED TO PROGRAM FMS WITH FIX; BUT IT WOULD NOT ACCEPT IT AS PXT1 PLUS 20 SINCE WE WERE PAST PXT. ATTEMPTED TO PROGRAM BY PXT/RADIAL/DISTANCE; WOULD NOT ACCEPT IT. WE WENT TO THE ROSE MODE (STANDARD VOR) PROGRAMMED FREQ TO VOR AND NOTED WE WERE 5-7 MI PAST THE FIX ASSIGNED TO HOLD. WE BEGAN TURN (LEFT AS HOLD WAS ASSIGNED L TURNS) TO ENTER THE HOLDING PATTERN. ATC AMENDED OUR ALT TO 26000 FT (FL260). LATER ATC GAVE US INSTRUCTION TO STOP DSCNT THEN IN A FEW SECONDS TO MAKE AN IMMEDIATE R TURN. WE ACCEPTED AND COMPLIED IMMEDIATELY. WE NOTED TFC ON TCASII AT 500 FT BELOW AND ABOUT 5-10 MI. THEN GOT TCASII ALERT FOR TFC (NO WARNING EXCEPT 'TFC' NOTIFICATION). FACTORS: CREW WAS SLOW TO RESPOND TO INITIAL HOLD CLRNC AND STAYED WITH THE FMS TOO LONG PRIOR TO GOING TO THE ROSE MANUAL VOR NAV METHOD. CREW WAS SLOW TO BEGIN INITIAL DSCNT USING FMS AND DID NOT GO TO FLT MODE (NORMAL AUTOPLT) SOON ENOUGH. THESE ACTIONS WERE FACTORS; BUT ATC DID NOT GIVE ADEQUATE NOTIFICATION TIME PRIOR TO HOLDING FIX. WE MUST HAVE BEEN WITHIN 3 MI OF THE FIX AT 300 KTS WHEN IT WAS ISSUED. ATC DID NOT INFORM OF POSSIBLE TFC UNTIL CONFLICT WAS NEAR. NOTIFICATION SOONER WOULD HAVE CAUSED US TO INCREASE OUR RATE OF DSCNT UP TO 3000-4000 FPM. OTHER FACTORS WERE NOTIFICATION TO CTR BY APCH TO STOP TFC INTO EWR AND HVY LOAD ON CTLR.