A PAX AND PVT PLT RPT ON THE ATTITUDE DISPLAYED BY BAY APCH DURING A TRANS BAY FLT THAT ENTERED THE CLASS D AT HWD.

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THE EVENTS WHICH UNRAVELED ILLUSTRATE HOW MISCOM CAN EASILY OCCUR WHEN NON STANDARD PHRASEOLOGY IS USED. THE SIT WAS EXACERBATED BY THE ATC'S SARCASM RATHER THAN WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS PRIORITY -- TO BE OF HELP TO AIRMEN EVEN IF THEY ARE PERCEIVED AS 'DINKS' (A FORM LOWER THAN LOW LIFE -- AS THE DEFINITION GOES). VFR FLT DEPARTED SQL AT APPROX PM00 HRS. CONTACTED 'BAY' AT 135.40 OVER KNBR; FLT HEADING WAS MAGNETIC 030 DEGS. BAY RESPONDED. TYPE OF ACFT; LOCATION; DEST OF FLT (RENO) AND REQUEST FOR FLT FOLLOWING WAS RELAYED TO BAY. ATC TOLD PLT TO STAND BY FOR BEACON CODE. HE GAVE US THE XPONDER CODE BUT DID NOT GET BACK TO US IMMEDIATELY. HE DID ACKNOWLEDGE RADAR CONTACT OVER THE SAN MATEO BRIDGE TOLL PLAZA. AT THIS TIME THE PLANE'S ALT WAS APPROX 1200 FT MSL. IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT CONFUSION STARTED AND WOULD CONTINUE TO DETERIORATE BECAUSE OF POOR COMS/ATTITUDE. AS SOON AS ATC ANNOUNCED 'RADAR CONTACT OVER TOLL PLAZA;' HE CONTINUED. ATC: HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH HAYWARD TWR. PLT: NO. ATC: WELL; YOU ARE IN THEIR AIRSPACE; YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMMUNICATING WITH THEM. AT THIS INSTANCE THE PLT CHANGED BEARING TO 150 DEGS TO GET OUT OF HAYWARD'S AIRSPACE. HE WAS ALSO BUSY DIALING HAYWARD'S CTAF. ATC: 'ACFT IDENT; SAY HEADING.' PLT: 130 DEGS. ATC: (SARCASTICALLY) RENO IS IN THE OTHER DIRECTION SIR. PLT: YOU TOLD ME TO TALK TO HAYWARD. ATC: (AGAIN SARCASTICALLY) IT'S A LITTLE BIT AFTER THE FACT. I CALLED THEM FOR YOU. RESUME NORMAL NAV AND CLB. (NOTE THAT NO BEARING WAS EVER SUGGESTED). PLT: 'ROGER; ACFT IDENT.' (AT ABOUT THIS TIME THE ACFT WAS APPROX 6 MI S OF AND PARALLEL TO THE HAYWARD'S RWYS. A COURSE CORRECTION TO 030 DEGS WAS INITIATED. ATC: (AGITATED) ACFT IDENT; I TOLD YOU TO CLB.' (AT THIS TIME THE COURSE CORRECTION TO HDG 030 DEGS TOOK THE ACFT ABOUT 1500 FT AND 3 MI E OF THE APCH END OF THE AFOREMENTIONED RWYS 2-8). PLT: ROGER. CLBING TO 3.5. ATC: I DID NOT CLR YOU THROUGH CLASS B AIRSPACE. YOU ARE IN THE PATH OF TFC TO HAYWARD. (AT THIS POINT OF THE CONVERSATION A CLB OF 300 FPM HAD BEEN ESTABLISHED). ATC: ARE YOU BASED OUT OF RENO OR SAN CARLOS. PLT: SAN CARLOS. ATC: SIR; I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE REACHED DEST. TELL ME WHEN YOU ARE PREPARED TO COPY. THE REST OF THE CONVERSATION WENT UNEVENTFULLY. THE PLT WAS HANDED OVER TO STOCKTON CTL. CLASS B AIRSPACE WAS NEVER INTRUDED UPON. DURING THESE EXCHANGES THE ATC COULD HAVE BEEN MORE HELP TO THE PLT BY OFFERING A NUMBER OF SUGGESTIONS. ATC COULD HAVE CLRED PLT THROUGH HAYWARD'S AIRSPACE AS SOON AS HE PERCEIVED RADAR CONTACT. THE PHRASEOLOGY WOULD HAVE BEEN SIMPLY 'CLRED THROUGH HAYWARD'S AIRSPACE; CLB TO...' (A LIGHT REPRIMAND COULD HAVE COME AFTER IN THE FORM OF NEXT TIME; BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...BUT ONLY AFTER SAFETY OF PLT AND PLANE HAS BEEN ASSURED) OR YOU ARE IN HAYWARD'S CLASS D AIRSPACE; FLY HEADING OF...; ALT OF... UNTIL YOU ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH HAYWARD. UNABLE TO CLR YOU; SQUAWK 1200; KEEP CLR OF CLASS B AIRSPACE. I FEEL THAT EITHER OF THE ABOVE ARE PHRASEOLOGIES WOULD HAVE BEEN EASILY UNDERSTOOD AND COMPLIED WITH BY THE PLT BECAUSE IT IS STANDARD LANGUAGE AND THEREFORE EXPECTED. THERE WAS ALSO NO NEED TO BE SARCASTIC OR EDITORIALIZE DURING THESE EXCHANGES. MORE IMPORTANT IS THAT THERE WAS NO NEED TO 'SHOW UP' THE PLT BY VOCALIZING 'RENO IS THE OTHER WAY' (AGAIN; A NON STANDARD PHRASE). A SUGGESTED COURSE CORRECTION WOULD HAVE BEEN APPRECIATED. SUPPLEMENTAL INFO FROM ACN 410720: CALL ME WHEN YOU REACH RENO. WHICH I DID. I EVENTUALLY DID MAKE CONTACT. EVERYTHING BEGAN TO FALL APART WHEN I WAS TOLD I SHOULD HAVE CALLED HAYWARD; AND I ALTERED MY COURSE TO 130 DEGS. FROM THAT POINT ON ATC WAS OF VERY LITTLE HELP. HIS COMMENTS WERE INSULTING; EMBARRASSING; INTIMIDATING. HE DID NOT HAVE TO BE SARCASTIC. TO SAY THE VERY LEAST; I WAS EXTREMELY UPSET FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS. FINALLY CONTACT WAS MADE WITH TRACON; AND WE DISCUSSED THE SIT AND RESOLVED IT.