C172 BECOMES CONFUSED AND QUESTIONS PBI TWR ON CHANGE OF MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS.

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I WAS ON AN IFR FLT PLAN TO LNA. I DECIDED TO GET IN A COUPLE OF PRACTICE APCHS AT PBI (WHICH IS 5 MI N OF LNA). I REQUESTED AN ILS TO RWY 9L. VMC PREVAILED. MY WIFE (A LICENSED PLT OBVIOUSLY) WAS SERVING AS SAFETY PLT. PBI APCH ISSUED THE FOLLOWING MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS 'FLY RWY HDG; CLB AND MAINTAIN 1500 FT.' SHORTLY BEFORE THE OM; PBI APCH CLRED ME FOR THE ILS RWY 9L APCH AND HANDED ME OFF TO PBI TWR. I CONTACTED TWR. THE TWR GUY SAID SOMETHING LIKE; 'DO NOT FLY OVER APCHING ACFT; BEGIN MISSED APCH PRIOR TO THE THRESHOLD.' I ASKED MY WIFE WHAT THE HECK THAT MEANT. SHE SAID IT SOUNDED VERY CONFUSING TO HER. I ASKED PBI TWR TO REPEAT. THE TWR GUY; AGITATED; SAID 'DO NOT FLY OVER APCHING ACFT; PASS N OR S OF RWY PRIOR TO THRESHOLD.' BY NOW I WAS DOWN TO 600 FT; FLYING A DSCNT ILS (AT LEAST) BUT TOTALLY CONFUSED. I SAID 'TWR; HOW DO I KEEP FROM FLYING OVER THE THRESHOLD WHEN MY MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS ARE TO FLY RWY HDG?' TO WHICH TWR REPLIED; 'FLY MISSED APCH NOW (HE LITERALLY SCREAMED IT); TURN L HDG 075 DEGS.' I DID IT. I ASKED FOR (AND RECEIVED) ANOTHER APCH; THIS TIME THE VOR 13. SAME ROUTINE. AFTER VECTORING ME AROUND PBI; APCH SAID 'MISSED APCH INSTRUCTION FLY RWY HDG; CLB AND MAINTAIN 1500 FT.' NEXT; CLRED FOR THE APCH. HDOF TO TWR. TWR GUY SAID (OBVIOUSLY REMEMBERING ME FROM LAST TIME) 'DO YOU UNDERSTAND; I WILL ISSUE YOU YOUR MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS WHEN YOU BEGIN YOUR MISSED APCH; DO NOT CROSS THE RWY THRESHOLD.' I SAID (TO MYSELF) I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS; WENT MISSED FAR FROM THE FIELD; AND WAS VECTORED AROUND PBI INTL AND ONTO LANTANA WHERE I LANDED. AFTER LNDG; I CALLED THE TWR SUPVR TO ASK WHAT WAS GOING ON. HE SAID 'WELL; IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.' I SAID; 'WELL THAT MAY BE; BUT I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED SUCH CONFLICTING INSTRUCTIONS AS I DID FROM YOUR APCH AND TWR AND I AM TRYING TO LEARN.' HE GAVE ME THIS LECTURE ON HOW THE TWR IS FREE TO CHANGE MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS FROM WHAT APCH ASSIGNS AND HOW THEY ARE TRYING TO GET AS MANY JETS OUT AS POSSIBLE (HE DEFINITELY INFERRED THAT WE SMALL PLANE PLTS ARE 'PITA') BY VECTORING US L OR R OF THE APCH END OF THE RWY. MY COMMENTS: 1) ONCE I HAD THE FIRST MODIFICATION OF MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS FROM APCH (THAT IS; MODIFYING THE PUBLISHED MISSED APCH); I SETTLED DOWN TO FLY THE APCH. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE TWR TO COMPLETELY RE-DO THE MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS. WHEN THEY DID; MY WORKLOAD WAS TOO HIGH FOR ANYTHING TO REGISTER; OTHER THAN THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. 'FLY THE AIRPLANE' ALL THE INSTRUCTORS SAY -- AND THAT IS WHAT I WAS DOING. BUT; I WAS ALSO BEING TOO INFLEXIBLE AND FOCUSED TO REALIZE; AND ACCEPT; THE CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WAS BEING DEALT. 2) I THINK THIS PROCESS AT PBI IS PLAIN STUPID. IT IS; FIRST OF ALL; A WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME FOR PBI APCH TO ISSUE MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS ONLY TO HAVE THE TWR COUNTERMAND THEM. DON'T THESE PEOPLE TALK TO ONE ANOTHER? I CAN SEE THE RATIONALE BEHIND WHAT THE TWR WAS DOING -- BUT WHY NOT HAVE APCH CTL ISSUE THE SAME INSTRUCTIONS; GIVING THE PLT PLENTY OF TIME TO PREPARE? 3) I ALSO THINK THE PROCS AT PBI ARE DANGEROUS. TO HAVE THE TWR SAY 'I'LL GIVE YOU MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS WHEN YOU GO MISSED' IS FOOLHARDY. FLYING A MISSED IS TOUCH STUFF -- YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN CTL OF THE AIRPLANE; TRANSITION TO A CLBOUT; AND SO ON. JOCKEYING WITH THE THROTTLE; GEAR; ETC; IS NOT THE TIME FOR THE TWR TO BE SPOUTING OFF WITH ON THE FLY MISSED APCH INSTRUCTIONS. PLUS; WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU DO IF YOUR COM FAILS? 4) USING MY WIFE AS A SAFETY PLT MAY HAVE CAUSED A FEW PROBS. SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO TALK ON THE RADIO (SHE LEARNED TO FLY IN AN UNCTLED FIELD; SHE IS SELF-CONSCIOUS BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES THAT HER NEW ZEALAND ACCENT IS TOO HARD FOR CTLRS TO UNDERSTAND) SO I HAD TO DO ALL THE RADIO WORK AS WELL AS FLY THE AIRPLANE. A CFII OR MORE ASSERTIVE PLT COULD HAVE/WOULD HAVE TAKEN OVER THE COMS WITH THE TWR. WHILE I DO SEE MY PART IN THIS MESS; I STRONGLY HOPE THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE DOES AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE WAY PBI IS RUNNING THEIR TWRAND APCH COORD. I HEARD OTHER PLTS ON THE TWR FREQ WHO WOUNDED AS CONFUSED AS ME. THIS WHOLE ARRANGEMENT STRIKES ME AS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN.