AN MD80 CREW; FLYING AN AMENDED SID; RESPONDED TO A 'DSND' RA FROM TCASII.

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FO'S LEG. FO'S TKOF. SJC 8 DE. CLRNC WAS CLB TO 5000 FT WITH TWR AMENDED CLRNC TO 3000 FT. IMMEDIATELY UPON SWITCHING TO DEP CTL; WE HEARD A CONVERSATION WITH THE CTLR MENTIONING TFC AT 3000 FT NEAR SJC VOR. OUR CLRNC ON CLB (GIVEN TO US BY TWR) WAS TO 3000 FT. AS SOON AS I WAS PERMITTED ON FREQ; I CHKED IN WITH BAY DEP CALLING OUT 'CLBING THROUGH 1800 FT FOR 3000 FT.' FOLLOWING THE SID; AT 1.8 DME; THE FO BEGAN HIS TURN TO HDG 110 DEGS AT 25 DEG BANK ANGLE TO COMPLETE THE TURN WITHIN 4 NM. 1/2 WAY AROUND THE TURN; THE CTLR TOLD THE TFC THAT WE WOULD BE CLBING ABOVE THEIR ALT; THEN GAVE US CLB CLRNC TO 15000 FT. IMMEDIATELY THE TCASII ALERTED 'TFC' FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY WITH 'DSND; DSND.' THE FO PUSHED FORWARD ABRUPTLY ON THE CTLS ATTEMPTING TO FOLLOW ITS GUIDANCE AT AN ESTIMATED NEGATIVE 1/2 G-FORCE. SIMULTANEOUSLY; THE FO BEGAN SCREAMING SOMETHING ABOUT THE CTLR AND THE TFC; WHILE WE WERE IN A 30 DEG BANKED DSCNT. AT THE SAME TIME THE RA ALERTED; I HAD CAUGHT SIGHT OF THE TFC -- A LIGHT ACFT AT 3-4 MI DISTANCE. THE RADIO CONVERSATIONS WERE BUSY AND I WS TRYING TO PAY ATTN TO WHAT WAS BEING SAID AS I SAW OUR TFC. AFTER THE FO CALMED DOWN; I CALMLY TOLD THE FO TO CONTINUE THE CLB AND NOTIFIED ATC OF THE RA. I -- DUE TO THE FO'S TALKING; THE RADIO; AND THE TCASII ALERT ALL AT ONCE -- WAS NOT HEARD BY THE FO; AS I SAID TO HIM 'TFC IN SIGHT AND NO FACTOR; CONTINUE CLBING.' INSTEAD; HE DSNDED TOWARDS A LOWER CLOUD DECK AROUND 2500 FT. LATER I BRIEFED THE FO THAT HIS MANEUVER WAS TOO AGGRESSIVE AND ABRUPT. HE WAS NOT SMOOTH AT ALL. AT THE SAME TIME THE TCAS SOUNDED; I CAUGHT SIGHT OF THE TFC AT 3 MI VISUALLY. IN MY JUDGEMENT; IF WE HAD CONTINUED IN OUR TURN AND CLBING (AS CLRED) THE TFC WOULD HAVE BEEN PASSING AWAY FROM US AND BELOW OUR ALT AND NO FACTOR. BUT SINCE THE FO DELAYED HIS CLB FOR A SECOND OR TWO; THE TCASII TOOK CTL OF THE SIT. WE ENDED UP WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLE DSCNT WHEN WE SHOULD HAVE CLBED OUT WITH NO CONFLICTS. PAX WERE GIVEN AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHAT HAPPENED ON THE PA SYS BY ME TWICE -- ONCE DURING CLBOUT; AND AFTER GATE ARR IN PHX. THE DEP REQUIRES A TURN AT 1.8 DME FROM SJC AND THAT THE TURN BE COMPLETED WITHIN 4 NM OF SJC. THIS SID IS RESTRICTIVE AND IS UNSAFE DUE TO THE FACT THAT COMMERCIAL ACFT ARE HEAVIEST AT THIS POINT OF FLT AND FORCED TO FLY SLOW IN ORDER TO COMPLY WITH THE SID RESTR. ADDING A 3000 FT HOLD-DOWN ALT ALONG WITH THAT TIGHT TURN AND TFC AT 3000 FT CLOSES THE MARGINS FOR SAFETY FURTHER. SUPPLEMENTAL INFO FROM ACN 509476: UPON DEP OUT OF SJC; TWR TOLD US TO LEVEL AT 3000 FT INSTEAD OF THE USUAL 5000 FT. DURING CLB; I HEARD ANOTHER ACFT RPT AT 3000 FT AND THAT ACFT WAS TOLD BY ATC TO LOOK FOR MD80 TFC (US) THAT WOULD CLB ABOVE THEM. I EXPRESSED MY CONCERN TO THE CAPT ABOUT BOTH OF US AT THE SAME ALT; BUT WAS TOLD HE KNEW WE WERE LEVELING INSTEAD OF CLBING. AS WE MADE THE REQUIRED TURN; A TARGET CAME INTO VIEW ON TCASII AT APPROX 11-12 O'CLOCK POS; AT OUR ALT. THE TARGET THEN MOVED INSIDE THE 3 MI RING AND BECAME A TA; FOLLOWED BY A 'DSND' RA OF APPROX 2500 FPM. I ABRUPTLY -- TOO ABRUPTLY IT SEEMS -- PITCHED DOWN AND DSNDED TO 2500 FT OR SO. AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS HAPPENING THE CAPT SAYS HE GOT THE ACFT IN SIGHT AND WAS ISSUED A CLB CLRNC BY ATC. I WAS NOT AWARE OF EITHER EVENT UNTIL WELL AFTER THE FACT. I WAS TOLD I TOTALLY OVERREACTED TO A NON COLLISION SIT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DSND SMOOTHLY IN AN EMER; AND DON'T KNOW HOW TCASII WORKS AND WHEN TO IGNORE RA COMMANDS. I WAS ALSO TOLD I HAD NO IDEA WHAT ATC WAS DOING EITHER; EVEN THOUGH WHAT THEY DID GENERATED AN RA THAT I ASKED ABOUT BEFORE IT EVEN HAPPENED.