A DC9 CAPT FAILS TO MAKE THE ALT XING RESTR AS ASSIGNED BY ATC AND EXCEEDS THE LEADING EDGE FLAP RESTR IN HIS LAST MIN ATTEMPT AT COMPLIANCE OVER GEP; MN.

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WE WERE CLRED PLT'S DISCRETION TO DSND FROM FL330-FL240 (EXPECTING TO CROSS GEP VOR AT 11000 FT ACCORDING TO THE GOPHER STAR AT MSP). ATC THEN SAID TO BEGIN OUR DSCNT BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING TO SLOW US TO FOLLOW TFC. WE BEGAN A STANDARD 1000 FPM DSCNT WHEN ABOVE FL290. WE SWITCHED CTLRS AND WERE SLOWED TO 280 KIAS AND GIVEN THE 11000 FT XING RESTR AT GEP VOR. ALSO; ATC VECTORED US OFF THE STAR WHICH IN EFFECT REDUCED OUR DISTANCE AVAILABLE TO DSND. THE CAPT SEEMED ANNOYED THAT WE WERE ASKED TO DSND BEFORE HE WANTED TO AND CONTINUED THE DSCNT BELOW FL290 IN A RATHER RELAXED MANNER. FROM FL240-FL270; I COMPUTED OUR DSCNT RATE WOULD NOT ALLOW US TO GROSS GEP AT 11000 FT AS ASSIGNED; AND EXPRESSED MY CONCERN TO THE CAPT. (HE DID NOT RESPOND -- I KNOW HE HEARD ME.) I WAITED ANOTHER 1000-1500 FT AND FLAT OUT SAID 'WE HAVE TO INCREASE OUR DSCNT RATE TO MAKE OUR XING.' NOW I'M BECOMING TENSE BECAUSE THE CAPT WAITED ANOTHER 3000 FT TO DEPLOY THE SPOILERS. THE CAPT CALLED FOR SLAT EXTENSION (280 KTS MAX SPD SLATS EXTENDED) AND PROMPTLY INCREASED SPD TO 300 KTS; AT WHICH POINT I REMINDED HIM OF THE 280 KT SLAT SPD. WE SWITCHED TO APCH CTL. I TOLD CTLR WITHOUT CONFERRING WITH THE CAPT WE WERE NOT GOING TO MAKE THE XING RESTR. HE JUST SAID 'I SEE THAT.' WE MISSED THE RESTR BY 2500 FT. APCH GAVE US A 170 DEG HDG. THE CAPT FAILED TO TURN TO THAT AND I POINTED THAT OUT. HE SAID 'I KNOW; GIVE ME A CHANCE.' MISSED XING RESTRS ARE THE #1 MISTAKE I HAVE SEEN AT THIS AIRLINE IN THE 5 YRS I HAVE WORKED HERE. THERE ARE MULTIPLE FACTORS THIS TIME: 1) WHILE THE CAPT WAS A NICE GUY FROM STATEMENTS I COULD TELL HE WAS TIRED OF FLYING THE DC9 AND HIS ATTITUDE REFLECTED IT. 2) I COULD HAVE BEEN MORE ASSERTIVE; BUT TENSION WAS UP AND MORE COULD HAVE MADE THINGS TOO TENSE. 3) ATC MUST STOP GIVING XING RESTRS FOLLOWED BY SPD REDUCTIONS AND VECTORS THAT SHORTED GND DISTANCE TO THE XING FIX -- THESE ATC FACTORS SPD RESTRS AND SHORTED VECTORS CAUSE MANY MISSED XING RESTRS.