B737-300 CREW WAS NOT ABLE TO ESTABLISH COM WITH THE COMPANY CONTRACTED MEDICAL FACILITY REGARDING A PAX MEDICAL PROB.

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PAX MEDICAL PROB/RADIO PROCS AND EQUIP. LEFT ABQ ON TIME; CLBED TO CRUISE ALT OF FL370. FIRST GIVEN RNAV DIRECT LVS; THEN BEFORE REACHING LVS; RNAV DIRECT BUM. JUST AFTER LEVELOFF; THE 'A' FLT ATTENDANT CALLED ME ON SVC INTERPHONE TO RPT SHE HAD A '20ISH FEMALE PAX' WHO WAS RPTING SHE HAD BEEN BITTEN BY A 'BLACK WIDOW SPIDER' BEFORE COMING ABOARD AND WAS EXPERIENCING NUMBNESS IN HER HANDS AND FEET. I ASKED THE FLT ATTENDANT IF SHE HAD THE HEADSET IN THE BACK SO SHE COULD TALK TO ACR MEDIC. SHE REPLIED THAT SHE DID; AND I TOLD HER TO GIVE ME A MIN TO SET UP MY END SO SHE COULD TALK. I MADE SURE THE FO WAS FLYING THE ACFT AND IN CHARGE OF #1 RADIO; AND I WENT OFF ON #2 TO GET DISPATCH ON LINE. WE WERE AT THAT TIME 109 NM DME N OF AMA. I HAD A DEVIL OF A TIME INITIATING CONTACT WITH DISPATCH; AS ABQ HAD GONE BELOW MINIMUMS IN BLOWING DUST AND AT LEAST 4 ACFT WERE USING FREQ TO DISCUSS THEIR CONTINGENCY PLANS; IN ADDITION TO THE USUAL IN-RANGE AND OUT/OFF CALLS FOR AMA; LUB AND OKC. WHEN I FINALLY GOT DISPATCH ON FREQ; THEY HAD TO GO INITIATE A CALL TO ACR MEDIC AND PATCH THEM INTO THE FRAY. THEN I HAD TO GET THE FLT ATTENDANT ON THE SVC INTERPHONE AND TRY TO COACH HER ON HER FIST USE OF A RADIO. ACR MEDIC WAS DROPPED OUT OF THE LOOP IN THERE SOMEWHERE; AND WE WERE N OF TULSA BEFORE I COULD COORD EVERYONE ONTO THE SAME SHEET OF MUSIC; BY WHICH TIME THE PAX (WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A 'SPACE CADET') DECIDED SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PROBS ANYWAY. WE WERE VERY FORTUNATE THAT THE MEDICAL PROB WAS NOT CRITICAL. HAD IT BEEN; I WOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE GND SOMEWHERE STILL TRYING TO GET ACR MEDIC IN THE LOOP; REGARDLESS OF THEIR PROFESSIONAL OPINION OF THE SIT. IF I CAN'T GET THEIR INPUT; WHAT GOOD IS IT TO ME? NONE. WE HAD A PERFECTLY OPERATIONAL SYS WITH THE AIRPHONES ON BOARD; BUT WAS SHELVED FOR SOME REASON. WITH THE AIRPHONES; THE FLT ATTENDANTS COULD DEAL DIRECTLY WITH ACR MEDIC AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS COORD THE DIVERT IF IT BECAME NECESSARY. NOW WE HAVE TAKEN A LEAP BACKWARDS INTO PREHISTORIC TIMES; AND I MUST ATTEMPT TO CONTACT DISPATCH; MONITOR THE COMPANY FREQ; TRAIN/COACH THE FLT ATTENDANT ON THE USE OF A RADIO; MONITOR THE ATC FREQ AND THE FO'S HANDLING OF THE ACFT AND HOPE THAT ACR MEDIC CAN TALK TO THE FLT ATTENDANT SO THE PAX CAN GET SOME HELP IN A TIMELY FASHION. I AM NOT IMPRESSED. TO PRECLUDE THIS TYPE OF SCENARIO FROM HAPPENING AGAIN; WE NEED TO EITHER PUT DEDICATED TELEPHONES ON THE ACFT SO THE FLT ATTENDANTS CAN SPEAK TO ACR MEDIC IN A MANNER WITH WHICH THEY ARE FAMILIAR (AND WHICH WOULD PUT DISPATCH JUST A CALL AWAY FROM THE COCKPIT CREW); OR WE NEED TO MAKE ADDITIONAL TRANSCEIVERS AVAILABLE AT EACH STATION ON A DISCRETE FREQ THAT WOULD BE USED ONLY FOR ACR MEDIC. THE OTHER POSSIBLE ANSWER IS TO MAKE ACARS AVAILABLE ON EACH ACFT SO THE FREQS AT EACH STATION COULD BE USED FOR ESSENTIAL VOICE TFC; SUCH AS ACR MEDIC CALLS. THE DIVERT INSTRUCTIONS; WX; IN-RANGE AND OUT/OFF CALLS WOULDN'T BE THERE TO CLOG THE FREQ THEN. AS IT STANDS RIGHT NOW; I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE; AND NEITHER WOULD I WANT A MEMBER OF MY FAMILY TO BE IN NEED OF MEDICAL ASSISTANCE FROM ACR MEDIC WHILE ON BOARD ONE OF OUR ACFT. THE CURRENT SYS WE HAVE CHOSEN FOR MAINTAINING ACCESS TO THEIR SVCS IS COMPLETELY INADEQUATE AND; IN MY OPINION; A WASTE OF OUR MONEY. WHY PAY MANY; MANY DOLLARS TO ACR MEDICAL FOR THEIR SVCS IF OUR EQUIP WON'T ALLOW US TO USE THEIR SVCS? PLEASE MAKE AVAILABLE A SYS THAT IS SIMPLE; EASY TO USE; AND THAT WORKS. TO DO LESS IS TO JEOPARDIZE OUR PAX'S SAFETY AND POSSIBLY OUR COMPANY'S FINANCIAL HEALTH.