B737-800 FLC GO AROUND WHEN EWR TWR PUT A B757 IN POS FOR TKOF.

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WE WERE BEING VECTORED FOR AN ILS RWY 4R AT EWR; APPROX 4.5 MI IN TRAIL OF AN ACR ERJ. APCH CTL CHANGES RWY TO RWY 4L; AND WE ARE VECTORED TO INTERCEPT A 20 MI FINAL; TOLD TO MAINTAIN 180 KTS TO THE MARKER; AND CLRED FOR APCH. WE NOTED; VIA TCASII; THAT OUR SPACING ON THE ERJ AHEAD WAS STARTING TO DECREASE; AND WE ADJUSTED OUR SPD TO KEEP OUR SPACING. AT 1400 FT MSL; WITH THE ERJ OVER THE APCH LIGHTS; TWR CLRED A B757 INTO POS AND HOLD; TO BE READY FOR AN IMMEDIATE TKOF. THE ERJ MISSED SEVERAL TURNOFFS AND DELAYED THE B757'S TKOF CLRNC. ONCE THE ERJ CLRED THE RWY; THE B757 WAS CLRED; NO DELAY; TO TAKE OFF. WE BROKE OUT OF THE OVCST AT 300-400 FT; AND SAW THE B757 SLOWLY ROLLING; ABOUT 500 FT FROM THE LNDG THRESHOLD OF RWY 4L. SINCE IT APPEARED THAT WE WOULD HAVE TOUCHED DOWN BEFORE THE B757 WOULD HAVE BROKEN GND; WE ELECTED TO GO AROUND FOR A SECOND APCH. A NORMAL LNDG WAS ACCOMPLISHED ON THE SECOND ATTEMPT. ATC DROPPED SEVERAL BALLS HERE. 1) NOT NOTING THE HIGH SPD TXWY CLOSURES ON THE ATIS (THEY WERE IN OUR NOTAM PACKAGE). 2) TRYING TO SQUEEZE A DEP IN; WHEN THE RWY IS WET; IN LOW VISIBILITY. 3) TELLING US TO MAINTAIN 180 KTS TO THE MARKER IN WX WHEN WE HAVE LESS THAN 5 MI IN TRAIL OF TFC AHEAD. (TO BE FAIR; WE SLOWED BELOW 180 KTS WHEN WE SAW OUR SPACING DECREASE. THE ERJ CREW SEEMED UNAWARE OF THE 2 CRITICAL HIGH SPD TXWYS THAT WERE CLOSED.