DA10 LNDG CQB IS FRUSTRATED WITH ATC AND DEVIATES FROM ASSIGNED CLRNC.

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WE WERE RETURNING FROM IAH AT FL350. HAD POOR HANDLING BY ZFW ON OUR DSCNT INTO CQB; REQUIRING A 'SLAM DUNK' (4200 FPM) TO GET DOWN. WE WERE FINALLY CLRED TO 7000 FT AND ABOUT 30 MI S OF CQB; WE WERE TOLD TO CONTACT ZKC. WHEN THE COPLT MADE THE FREQ CHANGE; WE BOTH COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS VERY BUSY AND VERY STRESSED. IT TOOK SEVERAL MINS BEFORE THE COPLT COULD MAKE THE INITIAL CHK-IN CALL. HE RPTED US OUT OF 13000 FT FOR 7000 FT 'WITH A REQUEST.' NO RESPONSE. IT TOOK 3 CALLS BEFORE SHE ACKNOWLEDGED OUR CALL; AND TOLD US TO STAND-BY ON THE REQUEST. WE WERE GOING TO REQUEST DIRECT TO EPASE (IAF) FOR A GPS APCH TO RWY 35 AT CHANDLER. MY COPLT SET-UP THE RADIOS FOR THE GPS APCH. I HAD NOT NOTICED; BUT HE ACTIVATED THE APCH MODE. THE ALT OVER EPASE IS 2600 FT MSL. 2 MI S OF EPASE; WE WERE STILL AT 7000 FT. THE COPLT REQUESTED LOWER; AND THE CTLR SNAPPED AT HIM IN A VERY AGITATED VOICE FOR US TO MAINTAIN 7000 FT. THE COPLT TOLD HER WE WERE ONLY 10 MI FROM CHANDLER; AND WE NEEDED LOWER AND REQUESTED THE GPS 35 APCH. SHE SNAPPED BACK THAT WE HAD TFC AT 6000 FT; 10 MI AWAY. WE PROCEEDED TO IAF. I EXPECTED TO TRACK FROM CALKI TO THE ARPT. WHEN WE HIT CALKI; THE AIRPLANE STARTED A R TURN FOR THE DEPICTED HOLDING PATTERN. AS WE COMPLETED THE SECOND TURN AND HDG INBOUND ON A 354 DEG HDG; THE CTLR ASKED US WHAT WE WERE DOING THAT WE WERE HDG S. THE COPLT TOLD HER WE WERE HEADING N AT 7000 FT AND WANTED TO DO THE GPS 35 APCH. THE CTLR SAID WE HAD RE-ENTERED FT WORTH'S AIRSPACE; AND THEY HAD NOT BEEN NOTIFIED. WE WERE THEN CLRED FOR THE APCH AND TOLD TO EXPEDITE OUR DSCNT. WE WENT FROM 7000 FT TO 3000 FT IN 7 MI. WE WERE AT 3000 FT OVER UBIRY INTXN AND BELOW THE CLOUDS. THE REMAINDER OF THE FLT WAS UNEVENTFUL. WHAT WENT WRONG: 1) WE WERE NOT CLRED FOR THE APCH UNTIL VERY LATE; AND EVEN THOUGH WE FLEW THE PUBLISHED HOLD; WE SHOULD HAVE JUST PROCEEDED DIRECTLY TO THE ARPT AND THEN SAID 'HERE WE ARE; NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH US.' 2) I SHOULD HAVE MONITORED THE COPLT MORE CLOSELY AND NOT ALLOWED HIM TO ACTIVATE THE 'APCH MODE.' WE HAVE HAD A LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT PROCEEDING DIRECTLY TO THE ARPT UNTIL WE HAVE BEEN SPECIFICALLY CLRED FOR THE APCH. 3) THE CTLR WAS WAY OVERWORKED AND OVERSTRESSED. ALL THE MOA'S WERE ACTIVE; BECAUSE OF THE WAR; AND SHE HAD SEVERAL GA AIRPLANES SHE WAS WORKING. THE CTLR HAD TO REPEAT INSTRUCTIONS SEVERAL TIMES TO BOTH GA AND MIL PLTS. SHE SEEMED TO HAVE TIME FOR EVERYONE BUT US. HOWEVER; IN ALL FAIRNESS; SHE WAS BUSY. FACTORS AFFECTING THE QUALITY OF HUMAN PERFORMANCE (MINE): 1) WE HAVE BEEN HAVING A LOT OF RADIO AND AUTOPLT PROBS. 2) I HAVE ONLY FLOWN THE AIRPLANE TWICE IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS. 3) WE WERE HAVING PROBS GETTING DOWN ON THE 2000 - 2500 FPM PROFILE I PREFER. BECAUSE OF THE RADIO PROBS WE HAVE BEEN HAVING AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE NOT SPENT MUCH TIME IN THE AIRPLANE THE LAST FEW MONTHS; I WAS CONCENTRATING ON KEEPING THE AIRPLANE IN THE AIR; AND ALLOWED THE COPLT TO SET ME UP IN A BAD SIT.