C560 CREW LNDG TEB RECEIVE CTLR'S IRE WHEN THEY REFUSE TO FLY 210 KTS BELOW 3000 FT.

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THE NEW YORK CLASS B AIRSPACE HAS NUMEROUS CORRIDORS AND ALT CHANGES. THE HIGHEST LOWER LIMIT OF THIS CLASS B AIRSPACE IS 3000 FT. WHEN WE BRIEFED THE APCH; WE NOTED THAT WE WOULD REDUCE TO 200 KTS WHEN WE DSNDED BELOW 3000 FT TO COMPLY WITH 14 CFR 91.117C. ALTHOUGH IT MAY HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE TO HAVE BEEN WITHIN THE CLASS B AIRSPACE BELOW 3000 FT MSL; WE HAD TOO MANY OTHER TASKS TO VERIFY RANGE FROM THE PRIMARY ARPT. WE PLANNED TO SLOW DSNDING OUT OF 3000 FT MSL. WE HAD ALSO BRIEFED THE MANDATORY XING RESTR OF 1500 FT MSL AT DANDY INTXN. WE WERE BEING VECTORED FOR AN ILS RWY 6 APCH TO TEB AT 4300 FT MSL. WHILE IN THE CLASS B AIRSPACE; WE WERE ASSIGNED AN AIRSPD OF 250 KTS. ATC ISSUED A DSCNT TO 2000 FT MSL AND AN APCH CLRNC. WE ACCEPTED THE CLRNC; BUT INFORMED ATC OUR SPD WOULD NOW BE 200 KTS. ATC RESPONDED WITH 'MAINTAIN 210 KTS.' WE RESPONDED WITH 'OUR SPD WILL BE 200 KT.' THE CTLR WAS QUITE ANNOYED AND SEVERAL MORE TIMES TRIED TO GET US TO ACCEPT 210 KTS. SEVERAL MORE TIMES I SAID I COULD ONLY DO 200 KTS. THE CTLR WAS ALMOST PICKING A FIGHT WITH US OVER THE SPD ISSUE. I TRIED TO DIFFUSE THE DISCUSSION THAT WENT ON FOR OVER 1 MIN DURING THE APCH; BUT THE CTLR RELENTED. BECAUSE OF THE DISTR; WE MISSED A MANDATORY XING ALT AT DANDY INTXN. WE WERE WELL AWARE OF THE XING RESTR; BUT THE ARGUMENT WITH ATC DISTR US SO MUCH THAT WE MISSED THE ALT.