BE36 ON LOC RWY 35 APCH TO OWD INITIATES ATC APPROVED CIRCLE TO RWY 17 AND EXPERIENCED CONFLICT WITH RWY 17 DEP.

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ON AN IFR FLT SBOUND FROM BANGOR; ME; TO OWD IN VFR CONDITIONS; I REQUESTED A LOC RWY 35 CIRCLE TO LAND RWY 17 APCH WITH THE INTENTION OF GETTING A VISUAL PERSPECTIVE OF MY HOME BASE FROM A CIRCLE TO LAND ALT OF 600 FT WHILE IN VFR CONDITIONS; TO AIDE ME SHOULD THE CIRCLE TO LAND NEED TO HAPPEN IN IFR CONDITIONS. I EXPECTED TO CIRCLE TO THE R (E) OVER AN UNPOPULATED AREA. MY REQUEST FOR THE APCH ADDED ABOUT 15 MINS OF VECTORING TO THE FLT. I WAS XFERRED TO NORWOOD TWR OUTSIDE THE MARKER (STOGE) AND CALLED IN; THEN CALLED MARKER INBOUND. I WAS ADVISED BY NORWOOD TWR TO BREAK OFF THE APCH 3 MI FROM THE ARPT AND TRANSITION TO A L (W) DOWNWIND. THIS WAS DISAPPOINTING AS IT WOULD NEGATE THE DESIRED LESSON. I DETERMINED TO ONLY LET DOWN TO 1000 FT AND THEN BREAK OFF THE APCH AND COMPLY. THE TWR DID NOT ADVISE ME OF ANY CONFLICT; AND WHILE TWR HAD COMS WITH ANOTHER ACFT; MY CALL SIGN WAS NOT USED AND I WAS FOCUSED ON FLYING THE APCH PRECISELY. I HAD BEEN FLYING FOR 6 HRS THAT DAY; AND THAT MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO MY NOT PAYING ATTN TO THE TWR XMISSION TO THE OTHER ACFT; WHICH APPARENTLY WAS CLRNC TO TAKE OFF. WHEN I REACHED 1000 FT; AT WHAT I BELIEVED WAS ABOUT 3 MI OUT; I LOOKED UP AND SAW A LNDG LIGHT LIFTING OFF FROM RWY 17 IN MY DIRECTION; HEADED FOR MY POS. I WAS SURPRISED A DEP WAS COMING MY WAY; AND WAS MORE SURPRISED WHEN THE DEP TURNED ABOUT 20 DEGS W; THE DIRECTION TWR HAD TOLD ME TO TURN TO BREAK OFF THE APCH. IT WAS DUSK; I HAD ALREADY HAD MY STROBES AND LNDG LIGHT SWITCHED ON; AND I DETERMINED TO GO INTO A 'SEE AND AVOID' MODE RATHER THAN FOLLOW THE TWR INSTRUCTIONS AND ALLOW A CONVERGING CONFLICT SIT TO OCCUR. I DSNDED 200 FT TO ALLOW MORE SPACING AND CONTINUED IN TOWARD THE RWY 35 UNTIL THE OTHER ACFT CLRED TO MY L. THE TWR CTLR STRONGLY; AND REPEATEDLY; ADMONISHED ME FOR NOT FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS. I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD BE PRODUCTIVE TO EXPLAIN MY ACTIONS ON THE RADIO; AND TRANSITIONED W TO MAKE R TFC ABOUT 1 MI PRIOR TO THE ARPT AND LANDED. I BELIEVE THE SIT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF BETTER COMS HAD TAKEN PLACE; SPECIFICALLY IF TWR HAD ADVISED MY CALL SIGN THAT THE TRANSITION WAS TO AVOID DEPARTING ONCOMING TFC; OR IF THE DEP HAD BEEN DELAYED FOR ABOUT A MIN WHILE I WAS ALLOWED TO CONDUCT THE APCH AS REQUESTED. THE EDUCATIONAL VALUE OF THE APCH WAS NEGATED; AND AN UNSAFE CONDITION WAS PERMITTED TO OCCUR WITH 2 ACFT CONVERGING AT SEVERAL HUNDRED KTS.