FLT CREW REPORTS THAT A CTLR EXHIBITS UNPROFESIONAL ATTITUDE WHEN HS25 CREW IS CONFUSED BY CLRNC AFTER LNDG.

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THE CREW CONSISTS OF 2 HIGH TIME CAPTS WHO GET ALONG WELL. AS FO; I WAS A SUBSTITUTE FROM OUR MAIN CPR DEPT FILLING IN ON A 1-DAY TRIP WITH ONE OF OUR DIVISIONAL DEPTS. WE DO NOT FLY TOGETHER OFTEN; MAYBE ONCE EVERY YR OR THREE. THIS; ALONG WITH VERY UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR ON PART OF THE CTLR; WAS THE MAIN CULPRIT IN THIS TAXI INCIDENT. WE LANDED ON RWY 4R AT EWR; EXITED THE HIGH SPD AND WERE HOLDING SHORT AT TXWY W AS INSTRUCTED. THE TWR'S NEXT INSTRUCTION WAS TO CROSS RWY 11 (WHICH IS STRAIGHT AHEAD OF US) AT TXWY S. THE CAPT STARTED TO TAXI STRAIGHT AHEAD AND HAD JUST PAST TXWY W WHEN WE FIGURED OUT THAT TXWY S WASN'T STRAIGHT AHEAD. HE STOPPED THE ACFT WELL SHORT OF THE HOLD SHORT LINE FOR RWY 11. THERE WAS A LOT OF FREQ CONGESTION SO I WAS HOPING THE CTLR WOULD LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AND SEE THAT WE HAD MISSED TXWY W. WE COULD NOT TURN AROUND AND WHEN I FINALLY INFORMED THE CTLR WHAT WE HAD DONE HE BECAME VERY SARCASTIC. THE CTLR THEN TOLD US TO TURN L ONTO RWY 11 AND EXIT AT TXWY S. PRETTY SIMPLE UNTIL THE CTLR COMES BACK WITH THE COMMENT THAT HE HAS HAD TO SHUT DOWN THE WHOLE ARPT ON ACCOUNT OF US. THE CAPT; THINKING HE HAS DONE SOMETHING ELSE WRONG; EXITS RWY 11 ONTO THE OVERRUN OF RWY 4L AND THEN ONTO THE TXWY. AS WE OWNED BOTH RWY 11 AND RWY 4L DUE TO THE CLRNC TO EXIT AT TXWY S; I FELT THAT WE HAD MADE A TAXI ERROR NOT A RWY INCURSION. YES; I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE DILIGENT WITH THE CLRNCS AND MORE AGGRESSIVE WITH THE CAPT. I ALSO FEEL THE INCIDENT WOULD NEVER HAD HAPPENED AT ALL HAD THE CTLR TOLD US TO 'TURN L ON TXWY W; CLRED TO CROSS RWY 4L; CLRED TO CROSS RWY 11 AT TXWY S.' IN ANY EVENT; THERE WERE NO OTHER ACFT AT THAT END OF THE ARPT WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A DEPARTING HELI. THE CTLR SHOULD HAVE HAD US 'HOLD SHORT AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU IN A MOMENT.' THE CTLRS GET CAUGHT UP IN MOVING ALL THESE ACFT AS RAPIDLY AND AS EFFICIENTLY AS POSSIBLE. THEY DO A REMARKABLE JOB. SOMETIMES CIRCUMSTANCES DICTATE THEY SLOW THINGS DOWN A LITTLE. I DON'T KNOW THEIR ARPT AS WELL AS THEY DO. I HAVE TO REFER TO A TAXI CHART. I HAVE HEARD CTLRS AT EWR GET VERY SARCASTIC WITH OTHER CREWS (AIRLINES) THERE ALSO. MAYBE A LITTLE INTROSPECTION IS WARRANTED ON THEIR PART! I'M SURE DOING IT!