A DA50 FLT CREW AT 5000 FT EXPERIENCED TCAS RA WITH OPPOSITE DIRECTION TFC AFTER ACCEPTING VISUAL SEPARATION CLRNC FROM N90 CTLR.

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STARTING SIT: ACFT 1 (US) DIXIE TO BOUNO AT 5000 FT. ACFT 2: OPPOSITE DIRECTION AT 6000 FT. ATC: 'ACFT 1; TFC AT 12 O'CLOCK; 10 MILES; OPPOSITE DIRECTION 6000 FT.' I SEE THE ACFT AND POINT IT OUT TO THE CAPT. HE CONFIRMS HAVING ACFT IN SIGHT. ACFT 1: 'TFC IN SIGHT.' ATC: 'ACFT 2; TFC 12 O'CLOCK; 10 MILES; OPPOSITE DIRECTION 5000 FT.' ACFT 2: 'TFC IN SIGHT.' ATC: 'ACFT 1; MAINTAIN VISUAL WITH THAT TFC AND CLB AND MAINTAIN 6000 FT. THE TFC WILL BE DSNDING.' ACFT 1: 'MAINTAINING VISUAL AND CLBING TO 6000 FT.' ATC: 'ACFT 2; MAINTAIN VISUAL WITH THAT TFC AND DSND AND MAINTAIN 5000 FT. THE TFC WILL BE CLBING.' ACFT 2: 'MAINTAINING VISUAL AND DSNDING TO 5000 FT.' CLBING THROUGH 5400 FT; I NOTICE THE TFC IS STATIONARY IN THE WINDSHIELD AT 12 O'CLOCK. I POINT OUT TO THE CAPT THAT HE MIGHT WANT TO ALTER HIS CLB RATE. HE LOOKS CONFUSED AND POINTS TO AN AIRPLANE AT 9 O'CLOCK; SAYING WE ARE CLR OF THE TFC. I POINT OUT THE CORRECT TFC. HE ACKNOWLEDGES SEEING THE TFC BUT DOESN'T ALTER HIS CLB RATE. AS THIS TIME THE TFC STARTS TO CLB. ACFT 2: 'ACFT 2 RA; ACFT 2 RA.' ATC: 'ROGER.' THE OTHER TFC PASSES APPROX 2500 FT OFF OUR L WING; 300 FT ABOVE OUR ALT. THE CAPT IS ANGRY AT THE OTHER PLT BECAUSE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DSND; NOT CLB; AND AT ATC FOR ISSUING THE CLB CLRNC. (OUR TCAS WAS ACCIDENTALLY IN TA ONLY.) I DON'T ARGUE WITH HIM BUT INSTEAD COUNT MY BLESSINGS AND REMEMBER A MID-AIR IN EUROPE SEVERAL YRS AGO. FACTORS: REVIEWING THE SIT; I DO NOT SEE HOW THIS SIT COULD HAVE PASSED WITHOUT TA'S AND RA'S CREATING A HAZARDOUS SIT. THE CTLR SHOULD HAVE WAITED 30 SECONDS FOR US TO PASS EACH OTHER BEFORE ISSUING THE CLRNCES. BOTH ACFT ACKNOWLEDGED THE OTHER ACFT IN SIGHT AND WE BOTH TOOK THE RESPONSIBILITY TO MAINTAIN VISUAL WITH THE OTHER ACFT. IF OUR TCAS HAD BEEN IN RA; WE WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED THE RA AS WELL. I WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT A 'MAINTAIN VISUAL' CLRNC AT NIGHT. THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY ACFT OUT THERE AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF IDENTIFYING THE WRONG ONE ARE TOO BIG.