PILOT REPORTS LOSING SIGHT OF ARPT DURING NIGHT CIRCLING MANEUVER AND GAR. REPORTER GETS VERY LOW ON SECOND ATTEMPT PERFORMING STRAIGHT IN VISUAL.

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ATIS AT PVD INDICATED WINDS CALM AND VISUAL APCH TO RWY 23 IN USE. ON CONTACT WAS OFFERED VISUAL AND ASKED FOR AND GIVEN ILS RWY 23. NORMAL APCH EXCEPT THAT AUTOPLT DID NOT COUPLE WITH LOC OR GS SO I HAND FLEW APCH USING THE NEEDLES AND FLT DIRECTOR. A 30 DEG CRAB WAS REQUIRED TO MAINTAIN CTRED ACH. 2-3 MI OUT TWR CALLED WINDS AT 15 KTS GUSTING 25 KTS; ESSENTIALLY AT R ANGLES TO RWY; BEYOND DEMONSTRATED XWIND COMPONENT OF 17 KTS. I REQUESTED AND WAS GIVEN CIRCLE TO LAND TO RWY 34. WHILE EXECUTING L TURN THEN R TURN AND PULLING THE CHART FOR THE ILS RWY 34; WE LOST SIGHT OF THE RWY 34 IN THE GND CLUTTER OF THE HEAVILY LIT AREAS AROUND THE ARPT AND RWYS. A NON-RATED WIFE WAS IN THE FRONT R SEAT. AFTER LESS THAN 30 SECONDS TRYING TO REGAIN SIGHT OF RWY; I CALLED A MISSED APCH. TWR VECTORED US AWAY FROM ARPT; HANDED OFF TO APCH CTLR WHO SET US UP FOR THE ILS RWY 34. THE AUTOPLT AGAIN DID NOT COUPLE SO I HAND FLEW THE APCH WITH THE NEEDLES AND FLT DIRECTOR. DURING THIS APCH; THE GUSTING WINDS AT ALT WINDS MADE IT DIFFICULT TO KEEP THE NEEDLES CTRED. THE RWY WAS SPOTTED AT APPROX 4 MI OUT AND A NORMAL VISUAL LNDG WAS EXECUTED; ALTHOUGH GS DEFLECTED TO FULL LOW APCH READING DURING VISUAL STAGE OF APCH APPROX 1-2 MI FROM RWY. CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO MISSED APCH: 1) NEED TO CIRCLE TO LAND DUE TO XWINDS. 2) DISTR FROM GETTING NEW APCH PLATE OUT. 3) FAILURE TO MAINTAIN VISUAL LOCK ON ARPT DURING CIRCLING MANEUVER. 4) PROFUSION OF BRIGHT LIGHTS CLOSE TO RWY AND ARPT. CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO FULL DEFLECTION DURING ILS RWY 34: 1) GUSTING WINDS. 2) SWITCH TO VISUAL APCH MODE WITHOUT MONITORING NEEDLES TO MAINTAIN STABILIZED APCH.