B737 BECOMES DISORIENTED MAKING A CIRCLING APCH TO RWY 29 AT EWR.

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ILS RWY 4R CIRCLE RWY 19 AT EWR. WE WERE SET UP ON BASE LEG AT 1000 FT PREPARING TO TURN FINAL WHEN TWR TOLD US TO EXTEND DOWNWIND TO 4 MI SO HE COULD LAUNCH A COUPLE OF AIRPLANES OFF OF RWY 4L. I TURNED DOWNWIND AND PROCEEDED TO WHAT I BELIEVED WAS 4 MI. I THEN TURNED BASE AND THEN TURNED FINAL TO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS RWY 29. AT THIS POINT I THOUGHT I HAD THE VASI LIGHTS IN SIGHT AND STARTED MY DSCNT TO LNDG. THE EWR ARPT IS SURROUNDED BY A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF LIGHTS (ROADS; WAREHOUSES; DOCKS; ETC). IT SOON BECAME APPARENT THAT WE WERE NOT LINED UP ON THE RWY; AND ABOUT THE SAME TIME THE TWR ASKED IF WE HAD THE RWY AND VASI'S; TO WHICH WE REPLIED WE DIDN'T. WE WERE AT 600 FT. HE SUGGESTED CLBING BACK TO 1000 FT; AND THEN POINTED OUT THE RWY. WE WERE APPROX 3 MI FROM THE APCH END OF RWY 29. THE REST OF THE APCH WAS NORMAL. I SUGGEST THAT WHEN AN ACFT IS ON A CIRCLING APCH; AND IS ALREADY CIRCLING AND PREPARING TO TURN FINAL; THE TWR SHOULD NOT ASK THAT THE ACFT MAKE DRASTIC CHANGES TO THE APCH TO ACCOMMODATE THE TWR. SPACING NEEDS SHOULD BE HANDLED EARLIER IN THE APCH. I FEEL THAT THIS IS DOUBLY IMPORTANT AT ARPTS SUCH AS EWR THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO PICK OUT WITH ALL THE SURROUNDING LIGHTS.