BA-46 CAPT WAS NOT COMFORTABLE HAND FLYING THE ACFT AT NIGHT; IN TURBULENT IMC WITH CHALLENGING APCH CTLR HANDLING.

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WITH A TRAINING EVENT COMING UP; I WAS TRYING TO DO MORE HAND FLYING IN THE TERMINAL AREA TO SHARPEN UP. AS WE TURNED DOWNWIND OFF THE STAR; I ALMOST DECIDED TO LEAVE THE AUTOPLT ON; BUT WANTED TO PRACTICE EVEN THOUGH I COULD TELL IT WAS GOING TO BE A REAL SLAM DUNK APCH. APCH CLRED US FROM 6000 FT TO 2000 FT ABOUT MIDFIELD WITH A 40 KT TAILWIND AND INDICATED AIRSPACE OF 210 KIAS ASSIGNED. THE BASE TURN THEY INITIALLY GAVE US WOULD HAVE US POINTED RIGHT AT THE OM. APCH REALIZED THIS A MOMENT LATER AND REASSIGNED US A 250 DEG HDG VERSUS THE PREVIOUS 270 DEGS. IN AN EFFORT TO DSND FASTER; I HAD REQUESTED FLAPS 18 DEGS; IT WAS KIND OF BUMPY AND DSNDING IN LEVEL CHANGE (INDICATED AIRSPD) AS OUR COMPANY PRESCRIBES CAN CAUSE AIRSPD DEVS AND THE FLAPS 18 DEGS MAX SPD IS 215 KTS; PRETTY CLOSE TO THE 210 KTS ASSIGNED. INSTEAD OF REQUESTING 200 KTS OR 205 KTS FOR MORE MARGIN ON THE AIRSPD; I TRIED TO ADJUST MYSELF WHICH LED TO ATTITUDE DEVS AWAY FROM THE FLT DIRECTOR. I WAS DOING MANY; MANY THINGS I WOULD NORMALLY NOT DO; ALL IN AN EFFORT TO PRACTICE. NOT A GOOD IDEA. THE COMBINATION OF THE HIGH DSCNT RATE; THE BUMPS; THE R TURN INTERRUPTED TO A L TURN; AND NOT KEEPING MYSELF DEAD ON THE FLT DIRECTOR LED TO SOME SPATIAL DISORIENTATION. I TURNED ON THE AUTOPLT AND AUTOTHROTTLES AFTER WE HAD MISSED OUR TURN TO INTERCEPT AND POSSIBLY CREATED A PROB WITH TFC ON THE PARALLEL. ATC DIDN'T MENTION ANY PROBS; JUST ASKED IF WE WERE ALRIGHT. WE WERE VECTORED AROUND AND LANDED. I GIVE SOME OF THIS PROB TO ATC FOR ASKING SO MUCH OF US SOMETIMES (FREQUENTLY; REALLY) BUT WE STILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE. AND I ONLY COMPOUNDED IT BY GOING AGAINST ALL MY GUT INSTINCTS AND IGNORING WHAT I KNEW TO BE ABOUT TO HAPPEN.