ACR DEP FROM MIA DESCRIBED FRUSTRATION WITH FREQUENTLY CHANGING RWY ASSIGNMENTS; A NEAR GND CONFLICT AND GENERAL CTLR HANDLING.

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THIS EVENT OCCURRED IN THE INCURSION HOTSPOT NEAR RWY 8R AND RWY 12. INITIALLY LEFT E RAMP LOCATION AND TOLD 'TAXI 8R VIA W; N.' BECAME CONFUSED AS TO LOCATION OF 'W' AND QUERIED CTLR. TOLD 'JUST TAKE TXWY N TO RWY 8R.' THEN DURING TAXI AND CHKLIST OP WE WERE HANDED OFF AND TOLD 'EXPECT RWY 12 NOW.' PROCEEDED TO REPROGRAM FMS FOR RWY 12. CHKLISTS COMPLETED. REACHED INCURSION HOTSPOT AND TOLD 'TAXI TO RWY 8L POS AND HOLD.' THIS LAST STATEMENT OCCURRED IN THE HOTSPOT WITH 1 AIRPLANE IN FRONT OF US HOLDING SHORT FOR RWY 8R. OBSERVED PLANE ON SHORT FINAL FOR RWY 12 (APPEARED LIKE LNDG ON RWY 8L) RESULTING IN CONFUSION. OBSERVED PLANE ON SHORT FINAL FOR RWY 12 (APPEARED LIKE LNDG ON RWY 8L) RESULTING IN CONFUSION. REQUIRED TO TAXI OFF TAXI LINE TO GET AROUND ACFT IN FRONT OF US TO REACH RWY 8L RESULTING IN LOSS OF POS ON RAMP. EVENTUALLY CONFIRMED LOCATION VISUALLY AND TAXIED ONTO RWY 8L. HEARD 'CLRED FOR TKOF RWY 8L FLY RWY HDG.' TOOK OFF. NO INCURSION OR VIOLATION OCCURRED. POS WAS IN DOUBT. THIS EVENT OCCURRED BECAUSE OF LACK OF GND CTLR TRAINING AND GENERAL COMPETENCE. WE WERE GIVEN 3 DIFFERENT RWYS TO TAXI TO RESULTING IN EXCESSIVE HEAD DOWN TIME FOR FMS REPROGRAMMING. IN ADDITION; THE LAST CHANGE WAS FOLLOWED BY A 'POS AND HOLD' CLRNC WHICH PUT PRESSURE ON US TO GET TO THE RIGHT RWY QUICKLY AND DENIED US TIME TO CONFIRM THE FMS WAS PROGRAMMED CORRECTLY FOR THE RNAV DEP. THE EXCESSIVE HEAD DOWN TIME RESULTED IN CONFUSION AS TO OUR GENERAL LOCATION BECAUSE OF LACK OF SUFFICIENTLY NOTICEABLE RWY SIGNAGE IN THE HOTSPOT; CONFUSING TAXI LINES; AND 3 DIFFERENT HOLD SHORT LINES. BEING REQUIRED TO TAXI AROUND ANOTHER ACFT ALSO TOOK AWAY THE TAXI LINE WE WERE FOLLOWING AND MADE IT APPEAR AS IT WE WERE HOLDING FOR DIRT; PLUS THE ACFT ON SHORT FINAL MADE US RELUCTANT TO MOVE ANYWHERE AT ALL TILL WE WERE SURE OF OUR LOCATION. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY AFTER ALL THE TIME WE SPENT GETTING THE RNAV DEP PROGRAMMED RIGHT; ALL WE WERE GIVEN WAS RADAR VECTORS OUT OF THE AREA (IN CLR WX). ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE; AFTER HAVING FLOWN OUT OF HUNDREDS OF ARPTS NATIONWIDE; I MUST SAY I BELIEVE MIAMI INTL'S HAS BY FAR THE LOWEST QUALITY OF STANDARDS AND SVC I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. FROM CTLRS TO RAMP HANDLERS I GET FAR BETTER; CLEARER; SAFER; QUICKER; MORE EFFICIENT SVC GOING TO MEXICO THAN I DO AT MIA. I WILL AVOID THE PLACE IF I CAN. FLT CREW SUGGESTIONS/NARRATIVE: 1) IMPLEMENT POLICY PROHIBITING 'POS AND HOLD' CLRNCS IMMEDIATELY AFTER A RWY CHANGE. 2) IMPLEMENT POLICY REQUIRING RWY CHANGES TO BE FOLLOWED BY MANDATORY WAIT PERIOD FOR PLT REPROGRAMMING. OR AT LEAST ASK IF THEY ARE READY. 3) REDUCE NUMBER OF HOLD SHORT LINE IN THE HOTSPOT. THERE SHOULD ONLY BE 1! 3 ARE VERY CONFUSING AT NIGHT. 4) PLACE BIGGER BRIGHTER MORE NOTICEABLE SIGNS LEADING TO THESE RWYS. 5) PROHIBIT CTLRS FROM REQUIRING PLANES TO TAXI AROUND OTHERS TO GET TO THEIR RWYS. 6) IF YOU ARE GOING TO REQUIRE US TO FILE AND PROGRAM RNAV DEPS; THEN REQUIRE THE CTLRS TO HAVE US ACTUALLY FLY THEM! OTHERWISE DO AWAY WITH THEM BECAUSE IT IS INFURIATING TO DO ALL THAT WORK FOR NOTHING.