PLT ATTEMPTING CLRNC THROUGH TCA TWICE TOLD TO STAND BY. TURNED TO AVOID ENTERING; TOLD HE WAS WITHIN TCA.

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ON 1/XX/90; I WAS FLYING MY SMA FROM HARRISBURG INTL ARPT; WHERE I WORK AS A COMMUTER PLT; TO MY HOME BASE; 2W5. I WAS CRUISING AT 3500' MSL VFR WITH APPROX 10 MI VISIBILITY WITH SOME HAZE. IT WAS AROUND XX PM WHEN I CALLED DCA APCH. I LISTENED TO THE FREQ FOR A FEW MINS AND FOUND THE CTLR RATHER BUSY; BUT NOT EXCEEDINGLY SO. WHEN HE HANDED OFF 3 OR 4 FLTS; I CALLED HIM AND RPTED 25 MI N OF DCA; REQUESTING TRANSITION THROUGH THE TCA AT 3500' FOR MARYLAND ARPT; AS I USUALLY DO. I GENERALLY MAKE THIS FLT TWICE A WK. HE REPLIED 'STANDBY.' AFTER 3-4 MINS HE CALLED ME BACK AND GAVE ME A SQUAWK. I REPEATED THE SQUAWK AND SAID; 'IF YOU'RE BUSY; I CAN JUST GO AROUND.' HE SAID 'STAND BY.' AFTER A FEW MORE MINS ELAPSED AND HE DID NOT COME BACK TO ME; I TURNED RIGHT TO A NW HDG AS I KNEW I WAS GETTING INTO THE TCA. AS SOON AS I ROLLED OUT OF THE TURN; HE SAID SMA 'DCA APCH; RADAR CONTACT; SAY YOUR ALT.' I RESPONDED; '3500.' HE THEN CURTLY INFORMED ME; 'BE ADVISED YOU ARE IN THE DCA TCA;' AND THEN CLRED ME ON COURSE AFTER ASKING IF I COULD MAINTAIN VFR AT 3500'. IN SUMMARY OF THIS SITUATION; I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT I REALIZE I MADE THE DECISION TO TURN A LITTLE LATE. I KNOW THAT IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO REMAIN CLR UNTIL HEARING THE WORDS; 'CLRED INTO THE TCA.' I DO STRONGLY FEEL; HOWEVER; THAT I WAS LED DOWN THE PRIMROSE PATH BY THIS CTLR; PARTICULARLY WHEN I EVEN OFFERED TO GO AROUND THE TCA DURING MY FIRST XMISSION (AFTER THE INITIAL CALL). HE COULD HAVE JUST SAID TO REMAIN CLR; 'I'M BUSY;' OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT; BUT HE GAVE ME A SQUAWK AND TOLD ME TO STAND BY. CALLBACK CONVERSATION WITH RPTR REVEALED THE FOLLOWING: PLT FELT CTLR TECHNIQUE ATTITUDE UNCALLED FOR. SEEMED AS THOUGH CTLR BRINGING HIM ON INTO TCA; THEN ON PATIENCE WHEN DETERMINED INSIDE.