ZAU Controller described a confused and unsafe event when coordination between Centers was confused and not in the best interest of the user; the reporter noting that procedures should be flexible with coordination during some instances.

Narrative

[I] was working a combined sector; normal configuration. An E145 departed; the routing was not the normal STAR; but did not have blue routing on the ERIDS. Aircraft was climbing to 10;000 requesting 13;000 as the final. There was slow moving traffic at 11;000 so a lot of additional coordination was required from me to the approaches in the vicinity of GRR because I couldn't keep the E145 climbing. While I was on the VSCS working my way around the approaches I was going to call Lansing Sector at ZOB; Lansing Sector at ZOB called me over the line very abrasively and asked me what the E145 was doing. I said something to the effect of I have him right at 10;000 to go around the slow moving 11;000. He asked about the routing; I said I didn't know. He said I can't take the aircraft and to give him a 360 and the right routing. I turned the aircraft out to a 270 heading and then made the correct coordination's and gave him the right routing. When I turned him out he seemed very confused and then asked if he could slow down. I said speed his discretion. I called ZOB back for a manual hand off because it would not hand off on HOST. I told the supervisor about it and the supervisor did some investigation into this flight. Prior to me getting this aircraft there was a history. This was an interesting situation. This particular aircraft diverted for fuel from his original destination. During his/her landing attempt the aircraft in front of them had a take off issue and the E145 had to do a go around. During the go around the E145 had to declare minimum fuel and returned immediately to the airport. This is a very hairy location for us ZOB; GRR Approach and LAN Approach. This is one re-occurring situation where Air Traffic Control has to be more of a scientific are than black and white rules and LOA'S. This was a situation where professionalism and common sense should have taken precedence over LOA'S and correct routing. There were two other arrivals within 100 miles at that time. Yelling and turning airplanes when there is not a critical situation happening is not acceptable in my mind. I feel the only way to change the re-occurrence of this is to change the attitudes of people. How best to do that I am not sure; but an unsafe situation was caused when he told me to spin someone for no real safety related or sequencing reason. The Controller could have gone out of his way to help but instead went out of his way to cause chaos. That is what we have to change. I know on my end I could have called GRR Approach and asked about the routing but again there was no blue on the route in ERIDS so I thought it was acceptable. Furthermore; there is no restriction on our chart that shows off of GRR there is a requirement to have aircraft on specific routes. Again; attitudes need to change. How that gets accomplished is something to look at.